NHL=Nonstop Hockey Love

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5hWhlHr5rk

I love hockey, but I also love Mitch Hedberg and his jokes. RIP Mitch

"I want to hang a map of the world in my house then I’m gonna put pins into all the locations that I’ve traveled to. But first I’m gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won’t fall down."

"I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it."

"Whenever I walk, people try to hand me out fliers, and when someone tries to hand me out a flier, it’s kinda like they’re saying, “Here, you throw this away.”

"I like rice. Rice is great when you’re hungry and you want 2,000 of something."

"An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."

"I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, “Dude, you have to wait.”

"Alcoholism is a disease, but it’s the only one you can get yelled at for having. “Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic. Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupis”…one of those two doesn’t sound right."

"My manager saw me drinking backstage and he said “Mitch, don’t use liquor as a crutch.” I can’t use liquor as a crutch, because a crutch helps me walk. Liquor severely f@cks up the way I walk. It ain’t like a crutch, it’s like a step I didn’t see."

Lindy Ruff the Statue

I've had the pleasure of attending many Buffalo games live, whether it be in New York at the old Aud, or the new HSBC Arena, at Joe Louis Arena and down in Columbus, and for two-thirds of my life the same man has been coaching the team. He's the longest tenured coach currently in the NHL. Why the job security? It's all about body language. Ruff is a man who never uncrosses his arms. It's intimidating. You watch the man, and whether it be barking orders at the bench or yelling at the ref for a blown call, the man never uncrosses his arms from start to finish. I think if he did, the ice may start to melt. I love that look about him. Some coaches have legendary articles of clothing, or inspirational words of wisdom, Ruff has the arms crossed. You want to know what happened last time someone tried to mess with him and AC?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAPhqXj_24I.....don't go after our f***ing captain indeed. Looking foward to watching him cross his arms and go for gold in the 2010 Olympics coaching alongside Babcock for team Canada.

Kid Meyers Playing like a Veteran

Tyler Meyers is 19 years old. When i turned 19, I went drinking in Windsor. Meyers has been a bit more productive with his time, earning a spot on the Buffalo Sabres lineup, avoiding being sent down to their farm team, the Portland Pirates. I first witnessed him attending the Redwings/Sabres preseason game at Joe Louis Arena. Who's 57?, I thought. Holy cow is he big. What's more suprising about his age, his size, or how light he is on his skates with very solid hands ( had an assist against the wings in their game in Buffalo after weaving around 3 defenders and creating a rebound, and last night in Tampa Bay (http://www.nhl.com/ice/player.htm?id=8474574, watch the video) securing his status as new "fan favorite"), is his birthplace, Houston, Texas. The dude is 6'8", in Texas, and is playing hockey? Someone with his size, strength and speed sounds like a great tight end in a state that worships football. Makes you wonder how his father reacted when he told him he wanted to be a hockey player..possibly the same way my parents reacted when I told them I (a 3.9 gpa Ohio Northern baseball player) was going to transfer to community college for two years and move up to the Detroit area to pursue stand up comedy...Why? I'm looking foward to watching him grow over the course of the season, and develop into a top defenseman in the league. Plus, I doubt anybody will throw any cheap shots on our playmakers now that we have the size to prevent it (also added Mike Grier). Stay healthy and we might be able to make a good run in the playoffs.